Painless Pork Chops

In light of recent gatherings with friends, I have decided to dedicate this blog post to those of you who are "cooking impaired".  Many times I have heard that people do not cook simply because they do not know where to begin, so let us start here.

A basic rule of protein: generally your meat has more flavor if you have the bone still attached to it (same goes for fish... the skin keeps a more genuine flavor to the dish).  Next time you go to the grocery store, pick up some bone in pork chops that are about one inch thick - about the length of the index finger between the top joint and the middle joint of the finger - and try this recipe.

You will need at MINIMUM one hour of marinade time but better yet, make this marinade the evening ahead and let the chops sit overnight to let the flavor really seep in.

Ingredients (serves 2)

• 2 bone in pork chops, one inch thick
• 1/3 Cup balsamic vinegar (I happened to have some of my Maple flavored on hand but you can use regular, or even a red wine vinegar)
• 1/4 cup apple juice (or just use 1/2 cup of vinegar if you do not have apple juice)
• 1 TBSP canola oil or melted ghee
• 1 tsp dried rosemary
• salt & pepper to taste (optional)

Directions

One day prior (or at minimum, one hours prior to cooking)

1. Place pork chops into gallon ziplock bag.  
2. In a bowl, combine all remaining ingredients and whisk together.  
3. Pour contents into the gallon bag, remove as much air as possible and seal the bag.  
4. Let rest in the refrigerator for a minimum of 2 hours, max of a day.

Cooking

1. Prior to cooking, take the meat out and let it rest for about 20 minutes. 
2. While the meat is hanging out, preheat your oven to 450 degrees. (see below for TIPS on making this a complete meal)
3. Place about a teaspoon of grape seed oil (or canola... just DO NOT use olive oil, it is delicate and burns very easily) in a cast iron or heavy skillet and heat pan over a medium flame for about 5 minutes.  
4. Gently add the pork chops to the pan and sear each side for 2 minute per side.  
5. Place the skillet in the preheated oven.  
6. Continue to cook the pork chops another 5 minutes or until a meat thermometer reaches 135 degrees.  
7. Remove the pan from the oven and place pork chops on another plate. Let the meat rest for about 7-10 minutes.  The meat will continue to cook (safe consumption is between 145 degrees and 160).
8. Serve!  I recommend a dry white to pair :)

Tips for making a complete meal: When you take the meat out of the oven to rest, thinly cut a sweet potato into 1/8 inch slices (your iphone is 1/4 inch  in height when you have it laying flat so half of that) and a zucchini into 1/4 inch slices.  Place vegetables in a bag, add a tablespoon of olive oil, a clove of garlic and a pinch of salt then shake the bag until the ingredients are well dispersed.  Pour the vegetables onto a cookie sheet and place in the oven just before you START the pork on the stovetop (so when your 20 minute timer to start cooking hits 10 minutes, get your veggies in the oven).  They will be ready when the meat is done.  Easy peasy

Thai Coconut Shrimp Over "Rice"

We're back and playing with jalapeños and cauliflower... you know you're excited!

This recipe is delicious AND very low on carbs... there are less than 250 calories in a serving and the fat content is belly-friendly fat.  The coconut milk in the recipe does not drown the shrimp in that tropical taste but the subtle hint does make a nice counterpart to the spice in the jalapeño and chile.

Ingredients

• 20 medium raw shrimp, deveined and without tails
• 5 cloves garlic
• 1 cup water
• 1 jalapeño pepper, chopped or julienned
• red chile powder
• salt 
• 1 Tbsp grape seed oil (or fat of choice)
• 1/2 cup low fat organic coconut milk
• 1 Tbsp lime juice
• 1 head of cauliflower, separated into florets

Directions

1. Place garlic cloves and water into a food processor and blend well.  Place the shrimp into a bowl and pour the garlic mixture over the shrimp.  Marinate for 15 minutes
2. While this is happening, (clean your food processor first) put the cauliflower into the food processor and blend until the pieces look a bit like rice.  You may have to do this in a few batches. Place the riced cauliflower a large bowl and microwave on high for 3 minutes.
3. Once the cauliflower is warm, place into a large sauté pan (if you do not have a non-stick pan, be sure you spray it with cooking spray to ensure the vegetables do not stick).  Start cooking over medium heat.  You will want to cook the cauliflower for at least 10 minutes or more, depending on how crispy you want the "rice".
4. In a skillet, heat the grape seed oil over medium heat.  
5. Strain the shrimp from the garlic mixture (it is okay if much of the garlic stays with the little guys because it makes the final product taste so good).  Transfer  the shrimp back into the bowl and add lime, chile powder (to taste), jalapeño and salt (to taste).  Mix.
6. Place the shrimp into the skillet and cook for one minute.  Turn the shrimp over and add the coconut milk to the pan.  Finish the shrimp (should be another minute to two minutes).
7. Plate the cauliflower and pour the shrimp mixture over it!

Serves 2

Eggplant "pasta" with chicken

So I'm not saying I "gave up" on the Whole30,  just decided that I am not one of those people who can live without wine.  Let's be honest, I cook with wine and bake with tequila so although I am a healthier person... it just did not fit my lifestyle.  I can get my wedding body together without sacrificing that.  Seeing as I cannot eat cheese and most gluten anyways, I'll keep the one thing I enjoy the most about eating... wine.

Anyways, so on to dinner.  Tonite I had a wicked craving for pasta.  Since I am keeping up with the whole mantra of "no carbs at night", I decided to faux it out and call it a night.  I had a nice eggplant sitting in the vegetable bowl so I figured I would slice it up and give it a go.  Amazingly, the meal came out delicious (or at least, I think so... Zack is out of town so the opinion is one sided).

Ingredients
for the eggplant
1 large eggplant
kosher salt
1 Tbs grape seed oil

for the sauce
1 cup grape tomatoes, chopped
1 small jar of organic roasted red peppers, chopped
1 Tbs fresh basil
2 cloves minced garlic (I really hope you bought that large jar of it already...)
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp marjoram

for the chicken
2 organic chicken breasts
2 cloves minced garlic
2 tsp red pepper flakes (optional... if you cannot stand heat)
2 tsp grape seed oil

Directions

1. Prep your eggplant - slice the top and bottom off of your eggplant, then slice the eggplant in 1/4 inch wide planes (from top to bottom). 
2. Sprinkle kosher salt on both sides of the eggplant slices and place on a cookie rack.  Let the vegetable bleed for about 30-45 minutes
3. Prep your chicken - cut the breasts into strips (optional... this just makes it cook quicker) and place in a glass dish.  Add garlic and red pepper to the glass dish, stir and let sit in the fridge while your eggplant bleeds
4. For the sauce, add all ingredients (under sauce) to a smaller sauce pan.  Let the sauce simmer over medium-low heat.  Stir as needed.
5. At this time your eggplant should be ready.  Rinse the eggplant strips under cold water and pat dry with a paper towel.  Slice the eggplant strips into fettuccini size slices then set aside for cooking.
6. In a non-stick medium sauté pan, add 2 tsp of grape seed oil and heat over medium heat.  Once warm, add the chicken mixture to the pan.  Cook thoroughly
7. In another sauté pan, add 1 Tbsp of grape seed oil and heat over medium heat.  Add the eggplant fettuccini and cook for about 7 minutes.  Stir constantly to ensure even cooking
8. Serve and enjoy!

Makes 3 servings (or two, if you're hungry) at 350 calories 

Spicy Coconut Chicken Over Fried "Rice"

Call me tricky but this recipe has no rice in it.  Ever since starting this paleo adventure, I've been exposed to new cooking techniques and tricks from the paleo world.  Take this non-rice fried rice technique - it uses cauliflower instead of rice!  I was a little skeptical when I heard about this but when you cook the vegetable just right, it really does have the same consistency (and your belly will thank you for it).

Ingredients
for cauliflower rice

• 1/2 half head of cauliflower
• 1 red pepper
• 2 large carrots
• 1 Tbsp minced onion flakes
• 1 Tbsp minced garlic
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 1 Tbsp coconut oil
• 1 whole egg plus 1 egg white, scrambled together in a separate bowl

for chicken

• 2 organic chicken breasts
• 1 Tbsp coconut oil
• 1 tsp Sriracha (yes, I know this is not a paleo-friendly ingredient... if you're that concerned, use 1 and 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes instead)

Directions

1. Separate the cauliflower into florets and place into a food processor.  Process until the vegetable is in a grain-like consistency
2. Place the cauliflower into a microwave safe glass dish and zap for 4 minutes
3. While this is happening, start your chicken.  Heat coconut oil and red pepper in a large skillet. Place the chicken in the skillet and cook.  I sliced my chicken because I have a fear of undercooking birds but you can either dice the chicken or cook it whole in the skillet.
4. In a large saute pan, heat coconut oil and garlic over medium-high heat.  Slice your red pepper and send your carrots through a food processor (or cut them into small pieces manually, whatever floats your boat).  Once the garlic is tender, add the bell pepper, carrot and onion to the pan.  Let the mixture cook for a few minutes before adding the cauliflower and ginger.  Cook until the cauliflower is slightly browned.  Add egg mixture and stir until the egg is cooked.
5. By this time, your chicken should be fully cooked.  Serve!

Makes two meals